My Mason Tree

December.   Christmas is coming. This was me, the Christmas before, having just annouced to our  world that I was 13 weeks pregnant. EXCITED. HAPPY. I love Christmas. I mean who doesn’t. I have always been blessed to have had every Christmas filled with lots of love, laughter, happiness, good health, big feasts and gifts. … More My Mason Tree

Double whammy

And the world keeps going. Nothing stops. I still had to do the groceries, go to the post office, go shopping, get a hair cut. I would be out in public thinking do they know? Does my face show that I had lost a baby? Why wont they ask me? Why has everyone slowly stopped … More Double whammy

The house looks like a baby lives here but where’s the baby?

Mornings and nights are the toughest. It’s when the world feels like it has stopped for you. Finally it stops. Finally it grieves for you and acknowledges that you have lost your baby. The night time silence is ear piercing. Deafening. You toss and turn all night. I still have to sleep with the pillows … More The house looks like a baby lives here but where’s the baby?

Results, the last day & that ugly green leopard print jumpsuit

As the days slowly went by Mason was looking better and better, giving us hope that he was on the mend. It was only until the Consultant Pediatrician told us that they had taken Mason off the cooling bed and had started warming him up to normal temperature which would mean if he could, he … More Results, the last day & that ugly green leopard print jumpsuit

Labour, delivery & where it all went wrong

Excitement, exhaustion, pain, happiness. So many feelings overwhelmed me on that car trip to the hospital in the early morning of Thursday 13 July 2017. Excitement because I was on the way to the hospital, exhaustion because I had not slept for nearly 24 hours, pain because contractions fucking hurt and happiness because I was … More Labour, delivery & where it all went wrong